I just finished reading my husband’s new book “A Gray Faith.” It’s one thing to read an inspiring story about an amazing man battling cancer and another thing to be married to the man battling cancer. I’m not going to lie. Reading his book all day and sitting next to his hospital bed while he is writhing from pain took an emotional toll. I didn’t realize how much until I called my best friend Lindsay and couldn’t stop the tears from coming.
Clearly this blog may seem somewhat subjective, but of course I’m subjective he’s my hero. The book is great! Andrew writes with such depth. He asks the questions that as Christians we are sometimes afraid to ask out loud for fear that we might be judged. Andrew’s taught me it’s ok to wrestle with God, to be open about your questions and to be brave to admit when I’m not ok.
Before meeting Andrew my biggest fear was not being liked by everyone. Since I’ve met Andrew he’s opened my mind to ask questions of God that may be controversial, but that can create a depth in my relationship with God. Before I was afraid to admit my faults, as it was more important to appear all put together. Andrew has liberated my soul by loving me for me. He’s freed me to openly share myself with the world knowing that I may be judged, but that the true judgment may lie more with the one passing judgement then the one being judged. We all make judgments every single day about everything, but knowing that I can put the judgements into perspective allows me to bravely share my story with the world.
I admire so much about Andrew. He is a fighter of cancer, a lover of God and his family and a truth seeker. He is incredibly gifted and has such a beautiful message to share with the world. If “A Gray Faith” is his legacy I will do whatever I can to spread his beautiful message with the world. I hope that you get the opportunity to read the book. You can go to www.andrewbheard.com and you can find a link to purchase the book. Copies have already been shipped to our house, but I believe you can get it on amazon in September.
Yesterday my parents brought our beautiful baby girl to come see her daddy at the hospital before they took her back to Dallas to take care of her. When she walked in to see her daddy she jumped on his bed and gave him the biggest hug. Later, she grabbed onto the side of his bed looked around at all of us and said with a huge smile on her face, “Daddy is getting better!” It ripped my heart out. Then a little bit later the nurses were attaching things to her daddy’s chest and she just watched with this sad blank stare. At two years old she is taking in so much and I could tell it broke her little heart. It’s hard for me to even write these words because the thought of Ellie hurting from missing her daddy is the thought that kills me the most. That’s where I have to trust that God has taken care of us so far and He will continue to do so.
Whatever you are going through I want you to know that from my experience there is always hope, keep the faith and trust that God will help pull you through to the other side. I love you dearly.