I probably shouldn’t be blogging when I’m worked up, but it’s 12 AM and I can’t sleep because I’m so anxious. I just got finished helping Andrew read through some of his recent comments and we came across one of the nastiest comments I’ve ever read. I could not believe someone would write something so cruel to someone as sweet as my husband. I consider myself pretty kind and understanding with people, but I have to admit when it comes to my family I am super protective and can get pretty feisty if someone tries to hurt the ones I love. I’m sitting next to Andrew who is on his deathbed reading this horrific comment that this heartless person wrote and just fuming. My mom had to respond to the man because I couldn’t do it without saying some things I would definitely regret.
What amazed me was that Andrew wasn’t nearly as upset about the comment as I was. It was directed at him and he could care less, but I was the one who wanted to punch the guy in the face. I learned something from Andrew in that moment. When time is a limited resource the things that truly matter come to the surface and the things that don’t fade into the background. All Andrew could see was how much love and support he has been receiving. All I was focused on was the nasty comment from some random person I never care to meet. What you focus on expands and for me I was consumed with feelings that only brought me more stress instead of more love. I’m still learning to let things go that don’t really matter, but hey I’m a work in progress.
The past two days Andrew has been more alert! I’ve gotten more time to talk with him and tonight (during my fuming session) I spent an hour with Andrew and my family just laughing and remembering good times in Dallas. It was a wonderful moment. Andrew’s been getting time to play with Ellie and we’ve been able to record a lot of those moments.
I’ve never felt the pressure to seize the moment like I’ve felt in the past couple of weeks. I want to make the most of every second I have with Andrew and with helping his dreams come true while he is still here (and even when he is gone). I’ve been working really hard to mail out books to everyone who ordered them. Just a reminder that if you pre-ordered your books on amazon or Barnes and Nobels then you won’t get them until after August 1st , but if you ordered through pay pal I am mailing those out every day. I will also leave extra copies for purchase at FBC Cuero, Lifeway in Cuero, First Methodist in Cuero and FBC Yoakum. If you haven’t gotten your book after a week feel free to contact me at email@example.com or leave me a comment and I will work hard to get you those ASAP. I will also try and keep up with Andrew’s comments on his blog so I don’t get anymore irate customers.
Thank you all for showing me the best of humanity and for taking care of my family physically, spiritually and emotionally. I can’t tell you how it feels to be on my side of things receiving all the love and compassion you all have shared with us. You push me to be stronger, to be more loving and to keep the faith. I can’t imagine getting through this without your support. Lots of Love.