Have you ever made an emotional financial decision you knew wasn’t wise for you or for your family, but instead of having the power to say “no” you said “yes” and felt awful about it (I’m talking sick-to-your-stomach, can’t sleep kind of feeling)? I recently found myself in this situation, and thankfully I was able to get a refund, but I could have saved myself a lot less drama and embarrassment if I had done what I knew I was supposed to do by saying, “No, thank you” from the start.
After taking some time to reflect on how I even got myself into that situation in the first place, I’ve realized there are some areas in my life in which I still have a lot more growing to do. The first thing I understood was sometimes I can be way out of touch with reality in a financial sense. After saying “yes” and freaking out, I looked at my finances and realized I was not fully grounded in the reality of how much money I was bringing in versus how much money was going out (you know, Budget 101?). Cue my tailspin into an anxiety attack. After getting the refund and getting back on track, I sat down with my finances, created a monthly budget, and have been vigilant about sticking to my numbers. I know what my budget looks like on a monthly, weekly, and daily amount and I’ve started tracking my daily expenses. This is really the first time I’ve done something like this and the results are feelings of confidence and peace from knowing I am making wise financial choices to live within my means.
The second thing I learned about myself (which arguably upset me the most) was that I cared more about the sales person’s feelings than my family. My old habits of people-pleasing came into play when I was making the poor financial decision. I didn’t want the sales person to think less of me if I said “no” and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings and demean all of her efforts by turning down her offer. Upon reflection, I accepted the truth of the situation: that she was most likely thinking about her commission check, while I was thinking about her feelings. What was really hard for me to swallow was that I should have purely said “no” because of my daughter, and I allowed myself to go down that long rabbit hole because I was afraid to say “no”.
Lastly, I learned I need to hold up, slow my roll, and take some time to think. This whole experience made me stop the whirlwind that has become my life and ask the question, “What do I really want?” and “Where am I going?” I’ve been going non-stop since Andrew passed away. I’m so grateful to have been busy with so many meaningful projects, but I now feel ready to push the pause button in order to reflect on the lessons I’ve learned over the past couple of years and write them down (possibly in a book). Looking into the near future, I have over 15 speaking events already booked for the rest of this year and into next year! I’m excited about not only sharing my story, but also sharing the valuable life lessons that have changed my life for the better that I hope can add value to other’s lives as well.
All of this reflection and learning came from making a mistake and then making it right as quickly as I could. Life is full of these kinds of lessons and, from my recent experience, when we find ourselves in a pickle, we need to:
- Do what we can to make it right as soon as possible
- Take time to identify why we found ourselves making that choice (so that we don’t make the same mistake in the future)
- Reflect on the lessons we learned about ourselves so they have the opportunity to sink in
- And, most importantly, show ourselves forgiveness and compassion
Thank you so much for spending time with me today. You continue to bless and enrich my life with your kindness and love. Blessings.
P.S. Excited to be at Keller Williams Mega Camp in Austin, Texas this Thursday, August 20th, speaking to the Young Professionals about “Living Your Passion” from 12:00pm -1:00pm with Dianna Kokoszka. If you are a Keller Williams agent I would love to see you there! I will have copies of A Gray Faith, The Ellie Project, and The Ellie Project stationery. To get your copies of each of these, click here!