I have been getting a lot of questions regarding my recent relationship. Rightfully so, you would want to know what happened considering we shared our “fairytale” story with you. Rafael’s one request when sharing this story is that I be honest and share the reason as to why I ended the relationship. Before I get into that, let me give you a little backstory.
When we were in college we saw the world through a similar lense. We were both considered Christian leaders. I related to his conversion experience, as he was considered older when he became a Christian and he had a desire to live out the Gospel message more then he did analyze the details of the Bible. When we met in college I was drawn to his love for all people and his Christ-like attitude to live out the Gospel. When we reconnected eight years later, I was coming into our coffee date with the mentality that he was still that same man.
I had heard through the grapevine that he had “fallen away” from his faith, but I didn’t really know what that meant and wanted to find out for myself. I knew that I had my share of doubts and questions in my faith along the way and could relate to him. I made an assumption that part of our “fairytale” was that we would bring each other closer to God. From the first time we met up and I asked him about his beliefs, he was honest about not being sure what he believed, but I was certain after all was said and done we would both be stronger in our faith.
As time went on, it became more evident that he did not want to grow in his faith in the way that I desired to grow. I finally addressed the issue and discovered that we have two very different belief systems. He was pretty set in his beliefs as was I. We were headed in two different directions. Once that was settled, I knew that not only for me, but for Ellie, I could not move forward in this relationship. I appreciate people with different views. I want to grow and learn, but, for me, when it comes to a marriage, having the same world view is extremely important. It shapes how you understand the actions of your spouse and what you teach your children.
I think Rafael is an outstanding guy. He brought so much happiness, love, and laughter into our family during a really difficult time. He was so good to Ellie and loves her so very much. I will never forget this season in my life and all of the love and the lessons it’s taught me. I wish him the very best in life!
In regards to the next season in my life, I’ve been waiting for a time of being single for a very long time. Before Andrew and after Andrew I’ve been excited to take time to get clear on what the next steps are for my journey. I’m looking forward to learning more about who I am, who I want to become, and where I’m headed. I have this habit of not making decisions and then when I get into a relationship I tend to morph into whatever I think the other person wants me to be. I want to know where I’m headed and so if someone comes into my life again I don’t make the same mistakes I’ve made before.
I’m turning the big Three Zero next month and I’ m feeling a mix of feelings part sadness (because it’s been a tough couple of years and I miss sharing my birthday with my husband) and feeling a sense of excitement and adventure. I’m so grateful for all the love I have in my life and for my beautiful daughter that inspires me daily to be the best I can be, so that I can inspire her to do the same. Hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving. Thank you for following my journey. Blessings.