Howdy friends!
I don’t usually do back to back updates, but we have some big results coming this weekand we are going to need all the prayers we can get! Early Tuesday morning Andrew is getting a PET scan to see if the cancer has spread to any other areas of his body, since his original diagnosis. Then on Wednesday at noon we meet with our doctor to get the results and find out where we go from here. Our hope is that the cancer hasn’t popped up anywhere else and that the cancer on his humorous and femur are shrinking along with the tumor in his chest. Hopefully the tumors will be small enough so that they can radiate the remaining cancer and not have to do too many more rounds of chemo. That’s what I’m believing this week!
It’s been a scary couple of weeks since his 4th round of chemo. With the cold and flu season being so bad we were nervous Andrew could easily catch a cold that could turn into something deadly. He did and we thought it was the flu, but he tested negative so we were grateful. Ellie had been sick the week before so I’m sure he got it from her. I ended up taking her to Dallas to get her away from him and when I got to Dallas I got sick. So like pretty much everyone else we have been out with a cold and it’s been lasting longer then usual.
The emotional part of this whole cancer experience has been just as challenging as the physical part. When I called Andrew from Dallas a few days ago I could tell he was extremely depressed from being sick for over 10 days in a row and from not knowing how long he has to live. He told me that sometimes he thinks if he went ahead and died it would be easier for all of us (obviously none of us feel that way). It’s is thoughts like these that cause Andrew to spiral downward emotionally. When he is this depressed it’s a challenge to help pull him out. It takes everything in me to try and encourage him that we love him and he is going to be alright.
I can’t imagine walking a day in his shoes. Tonight Andrew had a bad coughing spell and coughed up a little blood, I could tell by his face that he was super discouraged. I ran downstairs to get something and when I came back he was snuggling with Ellie and tears were welling in his eyes. It breaks my heart to watch him in so much emotional pain.
As a couple our all time favorite thing to do is to talk about our dreams and our future. We like to dream big and share our ideas constantly. The past 6 months we’ve been in a season of attempting to enjoy the present. For the first time, we’ve realized we are not invincible and that as much as we enjoy planning the future the most important thing is that we enjoy the present.
Tonight Andrew told me he had a bad feeling about the cancer. He expanded by telling me he thinks he could die soon. Through his tears I could hear his biggest concern was not wanting to leave me and Ellie and not wanting to miss a single milestone in Ellie bug’s life. It ripped my heart out. As a parent the love one feels for their child is incomparable. I can’t imagine the thought of not being with my daughter every single day. Even though the weight of our circumstances feels unbearable I am reminded that God has given me the ability to choose how I will respond to this earthly experience. I choose love. I choose hope. I choose to believe in miracles. And even if I don’t get my miracle I choose faith. Thank you for choosing to read my blog and for filling my life with your love, encouragement and constant prayers! I adore you.
Bailey, keep your positive vibes going and remember the last scan results and the happy dance.
Bailey you are amazing. May you feel God holding you this very moment. I pray that Andrew will comfort and strength through your love! Praying for good results and even though I know you feel like your caught in a marathon, I pray that God will perform a miracle and let your family cross the finish line together, and give you all a much needed rest! Love you Bay:))
Sweet Bailey. You are Gods child and he will never leave you or forsake you. May his love surround you, Andrew and Ellie as you take this journey together. We are so proud of you for the wonderful way you let God shine through your testimony. We lift you all up and pray that you experience His love peace and healing.
Bailey, you continue to be in my prayers daily. I lost my husband 17 years ago with an 11 month and 4 year old in tow. God’s daily faith is so amazing. Hang on to it and it will carry you places you could never imagine. My prayers for Andrew as well and he fight a very couragous battle. Love to all, Beth Warren
Love you, Bailey. Praying with you and for all three of you.
Dearest Bailey,
Thank you for opening your heart to us. I love the genuine truth you and Andrew both share in your blogs. You both are an inspiration. I pray for yall continually…the holy spirit even awakens me at night to pray. My heart breaks as I try to imagine myself in either or your shoes. God will provide every step of the way…I promise that. On my knees today..
Blessings,
Nicole Rich
I could never even imagine the pain of saying goodbye to my children and knowing I would not be there to share in their lives. It is heart wrenching at best. Just know that we are ALL out here praying for Andrew and loving your entire family through this crisis. Let Andrew know that this world needs him, his faith, and his words. Surely God sees that too, and will give us more time with him. Hugs!
Praying for you and Andrew, Bailey. He is a strong man and the Lord is stronger. Through this experience the Lord is using the two of you in ways that you will never know. Your words are such an encouragement
My Dearest Bailey,
Oh Precious Father I pray for Bailey, Andrew and Ellie and all the rest of the Heard family. Put Your Loving Arms around them and bless them with your precious love. Father, it breaks my heart to see them hurt this way but they are also such awesome children of God and know Your love. Merciful God, I believe in miracles and I believe you are performing a miracle in Andrew right now. Bless them and be with them and I say Shalom and again I say Shalom.
Bailey… I am praying and thinking about you and your family
Isaiah 40:31 – But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint.
Psalms 33:22 – Let thy mercy, O LORD, be upon us, according as we hope in thee.
Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. Psalm 55:22 NIV
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. Psalm 56:3 NIV
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm34:17-19 NIV
Amen , agreeing with you in prayer
Bailey–
We are continuing to pray for your precious family!! We love you!
Brittany