I probably shouldn’t be blogging when I’m worked up, but it’s 12 AM and I can’t sleep because I’m so anxious. I just got finished helping Andrew read through some of his recent comments and we came across one of the nastiest comments I’ve ever read. I could not believe someone would write something so cruel to someone as sweet as my husband. I consider myself pretty kind and understanding with people, but I have to admit when it comes to my family I am super protective and can get pretty feisty if someone tries to hurt the ones I love. I’m sitting next to Andrew who is on his deathbed reading this horrific comment that this heartless person wrote and just fuming. My mom had to respond to the man because I couldn’t do it without saying some things I would definitely regret.
What amazed me was that Andrew wasn’t nearly as upset about the comment as I was. It was directed at him and he could care less, but I was the one who wanted to punch the guy in the face. I learned something from Andrew in that moment. When time is a limited resource the things that truly matter come to the surface and the things that don’t fade into the background. All Andrew could see was how much love and support he has been receiving. All I was focused on was the nasty comment from some random person I never care to meet. What you focus on expands and for me I was consumed with feelings that only brought me more stress instead of more love. I’m still learning to let things go that don’t really matter, but hey I’m a work in progress.
The past two days Andrew has been more alert! I’ve gotten more time to talk with him and tonight (during my fuming session) I spent an hour with Andrew and my family just laughing and remembering good times in Dallas. It was a wonderful moment. Andrew’s been getting time to play with Ellie and we’ve been able to record a lot of those moments.
I’ve never felt the pressure to seize the moment like I’ve felt in the past couple of weeks. I want to make the most of every second I have with Andrew and with helping his dreams come true while he is still here (and even when he is gone). I’ve been working really hard to mail out books to everyone who ordered them. Just a reminder that if you pre-ordered your books on amazon or Barnes and Nobels then you won’t get them until after August 1st , but if you ordered through pay pal I am mailing those out every day. I will also leave extra copies for purchase at FBC Cuero, Lifeway in Cuero, First Methodist in Cuero and FBC Yoakum. If you haven’t gotten your book after a week feel free to contact me at [email protected] or leave me a comment and I will work hard to get you those ASAP. I will also try and keep up with Andrew’s comments on his blog so I don’t get anymore irate customers.
Thank you all for showing me the best of humanity and for taking care of my family physically, spiritually and emotionally. I can’t tell you how it feels to be on my side of things receiving all the love and compassion you all have shared with us. You push me to be stronger, to be more loving and to keep the faith. I can’t imagine getting through this without your support. Lots of Love.
Praying for you guys!!
You are beautiful, Bailey. 🙂 I so love your honesty. I think it speaks volumes to everyone. I am so sorry that person was so heartless towards Andrew. 🙁 Unfortunately, people often do not respond well to people who are suffering with great illness. I’ve experienced that the last 13 years from Liberty until now. People tend to be more understanding now-a-days, but I still get those people who just don’t want to deal with the fact that I’ve been so sick for so long, and they either ignore me or try to “fix me” because they don’t want to deal with the difficulties and unknowns. And that it’s a “weird” bunch of health problems that doctors don’t even understand.
It’s the same with Andrew, unfortunately. 🙁 It’s funny how people respond in these sort of situations. So many will begin idolizing the person suffering, like they’ve never sinned in their life and could do no wrong. So many will ignore you completely (or lash out or try to fix you) and the situation, because it makes them deal with questions they don’t want to deal with: death, God’s faithfulness, long illness, suffering, etc. And then there are those people who respond wonderfully. 🙂 They support you and love you, even though they don’t understand fully what is going on, but they are trying. 🙂 I am very thankful that although for years and years, most people didn’t want to try and understand me or what I was going through, that God has provided WONDERFUL friends for me in recent years that I could never have even hoped for! It really is a great and amazing thing to be loved at your weakest, isn’t it?! 🙂 You feel like a mess, but somehow the Lord is still loving you and using you at the same time. And He really does have a beautiful plan for us all. When I look back, although there has been so much suffering and anguish, I can now see why so many things happened the way they did. Sometimes it makes me fall on my face before the Lord with tears streaming down my face so thankful that He never gave up on me when I doubted Him and was angry with Him. He can take our anger. It doesn’t scare Him. 🙂 I pray that for you, Andrew, and your families: that God would so fill you with the ability to see Him working, that it would bring great comfort and peace to your hearts and souls, and would really make all the suffering seem like there is a purpose… because there is. He’s amazing!! 🙂 He’s amazing that He lets us grieve and fall apart (and He wants us to, so He can meet us intimately and build us back up in Him) and keeps working faithfully for us AND His glory at the same time. So mysterious and beautiful!
I have been so so thankful to see SO many people supporting you all through this process!! And you all have been so gracious and quick to thank everyone!! 🙂 It’s been beautiful to see. 🙂
You are loved. 🙂 Continuing to pray for you, my sister in Christ! You are His beloved daughter. Andrew is His beloved son. He’s such a good Papa. 🙂 I’m praying that He would bestow more and more and more of His extravagant love on you all until you feel you will burst with joy and healing! 🙂
Love always,
Mandy Morrison 🙂
You are so amazing Bailey! I love the honesty in your blogs, they touch all of us! Still praying!!
You are an absolutely incredible women, Bailey. Ben and I think, talk and pray about you three every day. We love y’all and are here if you need anything. Thank you for your updates. I love your honesty.
I have to say this was a shocker to think you read a cruel comment!! In all of both of your transparent writings,,,there is so much honesty, and God’s love overflowing out of you that I never considered that would be something you would deal with. We pray daily for all of you but also are so inspired to live out the Great Commission. What would you prefer for us to order book directly or Barnes and Noble? Your parents may have some?
THANKS to both of you for sharing your raw beautiful life stories-xoxo
Bailey, that just makes me really mad that people can act so mean, It takes a really sick person to act like that. So if you want to go after him we all have your back lol So with that said Andrew & You have done a wonderful & spirtual job of handling the situation that y’all have been dealing with. The blessings, love & compassion that y’all show is something that will never be forgotten. Just remember there is more LOVE out there for you & Andrew Than any old ugly person who must be hurting himself to strike out like that. So we will pray for him to seek Jesus fast, Been nice seeing y’all the last 2 days ! Love Pat
I found your blog through a friend’s posting on Facebook. Your strength and faith is amazing, your family’s journey breaks my heart. My prayers for Andrew and all of you. God bless you all.
Hi Bailey,
You don’t know me (I’m a childhood friend of Morgan McMullen), but I have been following your family’s story for several months now. I want you to know that I think of you guys often and am praying or all of you as you walk this path. I know there are no words that can fix the situation, I just want you to know that your sister in Christ is thinking about you and lifting y’all up! May the peace of God that passes all understanding surround y’all during this time.
With Love,
Laura Sims Railey
< 3 SWEET BAILEY AND ANDREW:SO VERY SORRY THAT THE DISGUSTING MAN HAD TO WRITE A NASTY COMMENT…PEOPLE THAT REALLY CARE ABOUT KNOW JUST HOW MUCH HIS COMMENTS HURT YOUR HEART AND YOU ARE ALREADY GOING THROUGH SO MUCH RIGHT NOW TO PUT IT MILDLY…PLEASE KNOW THAT THERE ARE SO MANY FOR YOU BOTH IN PRAYER AND THOUGHTS THAT THE MAN WOULD NOT HAVE A CHANCE IF WE ALL KNEW WHO HE WAS…AS YOU BAILEY ARE PROTECTING YOUR HUSBAND THROUGH THIS TIME YOU ALL HAVE SHARED YOUR STORY WITH US WELL LETS JUST SAY THAT COWARD WOULD RUN AWAY IF WE KNEW HOW COLD HEARTED AND A JERK HE IS…KEEP THE FAITH SWEET BAILEY!!!MANY PEOPEL OUT IN THE WORLD LOVE YOU BOTH AND WANT TO PROTECT YOU ALSO…. <3 Date: Fri, 19 Jul 2013 05:48:17 +0000 To: [email protected]
I pray that you guys feel God’s hand on your shoulder during each step of this journey to Him.
Amazing mighty Woman of God!!
Sure do love you
Prayers going your way, God Bless ya’ll
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