Hi There!
Whew, things have been pretty cray cray for the Heards this past week. Which is really nothing new. I feel like I tell you this every week. We thought we had a week off from chemo so we planned a trip to Dallas for Andrew to come speak at Liberty Christian School (my alma matter and Andrew and I’s first jobs) and then to the youth at Denton Bible Church (where I became a Christian and where we got married). I was really looking forward to this week because Denton has always been home for me and I was now getting an opportunity to hug the necks of so many people in this amazing community who have invested so much into my life. Last Monday (the day before we were leaving for Dallas) we get a call from M.D. Anderson confirming an appointment for chemo on the day Andrew was supposed to speak in Dallas (Wednesday). We called our doctor and she moved the chemo back to Tuesday.
So the next day Ellie, Andrew and I loaded up headed to Houston for chemo and then straight onto Dallas. Andrew wasn’t feeling well (pretty much the entire trip) so he encouraged me to put the petal to the medal and get him to Dallas. Once we got to my parents house Andrew was pretty much bed wridden. He slept through the night except waking up one for night sweats.
The next day I figured I would let him sleep until the last possible minute we had to leave for his speaking engagement. By the way this wasn’t just any speaking engagement the school named April 17th the Bailey and Andrew Heard day and made amazing T-Shirts to raise money for Andrew’s medical needs. We had a meet and greet planned for an hour before he spoke. They worked so hard to make this a special day for us. Back to my story (can you tell I have severe ADD). Right as I went to get Andrew up he asked me to take his temp. It was a whopping 102.5. So I called my best buddy and she came right over to take care of Ellie while I drove Andrew straight to the ER. They did a bunch of tests on him. He ended up not having pneumonia which was great, but they still can’t figure out why his fever keeps coming back, he throws up every now and again and he has no appetite. This is day 5 of him being in the hospital and we still don’t have a lot of answers.
Having a lot of time to reflect on life I had a couple of thoughts I wanted to share with you today. There have been a few things in my life that I wanted really badly. I wanted to get into Baylor University (which I did), I wanted to go to the Olympics for gymnastics (which I did not) but more then anything I want Andrew to get better. I’ve never had a want as deep and as important to me as this one. In many areas of my life I could push myself to attain my goals (grades, cheerleading, running) but Andrew getting cancer has been a wake up call about what I can’t control. I move forward by doing what I can for him (research, prep healthy meals, help him exercise and drink water) and then I give the rest to God.
It’s hard for me to trust God with someone so precious to me. I don’t know that I knew how blessed I really was until the reality that I could lose him came into play. This truth has transformed my life because I realize I may not have control over the outcome, but I do have control over my choices and my reactions. I choose to look at this experience and GROW from it. Learn from it, take the lessons and challenge myself to be better and more of who God longs for me to be. I choose to grow in love and in life.
Whatever you are going through today I want to encourage you to GROW in it and through it. God has a purpose for your life and if we will listen He has a special message He wants to share with us through our challenges. I love you and I’m growing right along side you. Blessings.
PS Special thanks to Liberty Christian and Denton Bible Church for all of your love, support and prayers. Wish we could have been there. Mad love for you 🙂
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