Hi Friend!
I hope that you are doing well and that blessings are being poured over your life as you’ve poured blessings upon ours. I hope that Andrew’s and my gratitude for all that you’ve done for us overflows from my blog because you’ve changed our lives and we are extremely grateful.
I‘m writing to you again from M.D. Anderson where I draw a lot of writing inspiration and mainly because it’s a quite place where I don’t have a two year old attached to me. We met with our Oncologist today and Andrew is now getting round 2 of chemotherapy.
It’s been a rough couple of weeks for Andrew. Last week he was in the hospital in Dallas for almost a week and then when I got him home he pretty much stayed in bed asleep for another week. He had some hallucinations the day I brought him back and it really freaked me out, but his Oncologist thinks it’s due to being in the hospital so long and getting disoriented with night and day. Something has been causing him severe daily migraines and we are hoping to get some answers about that next week when he gets another MRI and scans on his eye.
It’s been really hard to see Andrew so sick and down. I can’t imagine what he is going through. I am miserable after being sick for a week much less as long as he’s been sick. I know it is wearing on him psychologically. He is such a planner and a dreamer and right now he feels like he can’t do either. What’s been eye opening for me this week is fearing him not getting better, but possibly getting worse. It was another reminder to cherish the present moment and to be present in the present. Clearly, I am hoping the best about his recovery, but it has been a wake up call that nothing in life is guaranteed.
During the sadness of last week my sweet sister, brother-in-law and beautiful niece came in from Atlanta to spend some time with us. In the middle of Andrew suffering our little girl was loving life with her adorable cousin. They rode bikes, chased Kitty Kitty (our neighbor’s cat), swam in the blow up pool, played in the sandbox and wore us (and my parents) plum out. It makes Andrew so happy to know that Ellie is so happy. It is always a breath of fresh air when I can see my family. I’m so blessed to have such an amazing support system. I’ve realized that now more then ever.
I’m learning so many wonderful lessons about life and mostly about myself from this cancer experience. As much as I want to take the pain away from Andrew I realize it is part of his journey and my part is to love and support him through his pain. My job is to be fully present in the moment. What typically gets in my way of being present are my thoughts about the experience. When I focus on what feels sad and depressing I am not present. Instead I am learning to focus on accepting and loving what is. When I accept that everything is as it should be because God’s plan for each of us is perfect then I am in the present. A great book that has helped me with this is “Loving What Is” by Byron Katie. This book has been liberating for me in coping with my thoughts about Andrew getting cancer.
I love you and truly appreciate you following our story and caring enough to check in. Thank you all so much for your financial contributions to our fund. I can’t tell you enough how much it has helped our family. I also wanted to personally thank Keller Williams Realty in Denton, TX for your extremely generous donation to our family as well as the sweet cards you sent. We feel your love/ prayers and we receive them and send them all right back atcha.
I would love for you to leave a comment below sharing about a time in your life that you turned your thoughts around from focusing on the negative to focusing on the positive. What did you do to refocus your thoughts in a way that allowed you to stay in the present? Looking forward to reading your comments. Blessings sweet friend.
PS A couple of inspiring songs I’m loving right now are Angie Miller – Who U R and Beyonce- I Was Here
http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/Andrew-Bailey-s-journey/25851
Bailey, I just wanted to let you know that David and I have been following your blog. We are praying diligently for healing of Andrew. I also want you to know that we are learning to LOVE better and more completely as a family through your testimony and as you exemplify the beauty of love. Thank you for constantly having the courage to share your journey, you are making Jesus famous in a BIG way!
-dani
Hi Bailey,
Thank you for sharing your stories! I have kept you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. You said to leave a comment about staying in the present. Sometimes I can get caught up in what negative comments people say or how they are a negative person. I have just tried to turn it into a positive thought from me and show them my love and God’s love. I have noticed that I enjoy my time with them more. Also, when they send negative comments my way I accept them and go to God for a reason why. That is my revelation. Also, Jamie Grace is great music! I just put her on Pandora and there are a lot of inspiring songs. I think one of them is Hold On, but I can’t remember the artist. Also, if you are in the Houston area and would like lunch or dinner, or catch up, feel free to message me. :). May God Bless you and your family
Love,
Callie
Hi Bailey, my name is Lucy Richardson. I work in the communications office at MD Anderson Cancer Center. I’ve been following your blog for some time now, waiting for the right opportunity to reach out. I’m not sure if this is even a good time, but I wanted to let you know I’m here to help you and your family in any way that I can. I also wanted to speak with you about potential collaborations with MD Anderson. You are such a gifted writer. I know other patients and families would benefit from reading your work. If you’re interested, please email me at [email protected]. No pressure at all. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Best, Lucy
Hello Bailey, I don’t know you and your husband personally, but I discovered the fight that y’all are going through from a mutual fb friend. I haven’t been able to stop praying for Andrew and your family since. I admire the courage and faith that you both have during such an unbelievably difficult time. Praying for a miracle for Andrew and for all his tumors to disappear so that you all can continue to proclaim God’s blessings to others.
P.S. I love Beyonce’s “I Am Here”, had it on repeat for months 🙂
Dominique
Hi Dominique,
Thanks so much for reaching out and leaving a comment. I really appreciate your continual prayers for our family. It blows me away when incredible people like you who don’t really know us care so much and pray on a regular basis. It’s such a reminder to me to do the same for others. I really appreciate you following our story. Thanks for being a blessing Dominique! – Bailey Heard
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
― Lao Tzu
Praying for your family Bailey. You are both Strong and Courageous !
As a fellow Baylor Alum and a person who struggles to keep a focus on God, I find that your words and experience you are sharing hitting the right spot. I pray for you and your family; clearly God is at work in the present.
Bailey, what you & Andrew are going thru now at such a young age just saddens me.But when I see you I see strength,love & kindness that just over flows. You always have a hug and a smile on your face that I know can’t be easy for you all the time. We pray each & every day for strength & protection for you & your family.Just remember Jesus is with you & your family every second of every day, So keep singing & listing to those songs, Jesus loves you Bailey ! love y’all pat
Bailey, I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Make sure to take that time for yourself in this journey, so that you can stay healthy and centered for your daughter. As moms, we all need a different balance to be the best we can be. I found your story through Liberty Christian (we are thinking of sending our daughter there), and have been praying for your family! God will get you through, no doubt. One time I turned my thoughts to positive in a sad situation – my mom very unexpectedly passed away in 2008. I didn’t even know she was sick, and she literally went in to the hospital on a Friday and passed the next Friday. I was reeling – we were extremely close. As I grieved, I listened to God. He has a way of speaking to me and showing me my next move/step through difficult situations. I decided to move from Michigan to Texas to live closer to my dad, and my mom passing opened that door for me (I had always wanted to move). So, I listened, took a leap of faith and moved across the country. Two weeks after moving to Dallas, I met my husband, and we now have a beautiful baby girl, praise Him! I am certain God is leading you through this to where he means for you to be. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, and don’t be afraid to be weak – it shows strength. Blessings to you and your family, and have faith. 🙂
Lauren,
Thank you so much for contacting me, sharing about your sweet mom and giving such great advice. I really appreciate everything you shared. I can’t imagine how you felt losing your sweet mom so suddenly. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I’m inspired by your confidence to trust that God is in control and that He has a plan for our lives. I’m so excited your baby girl will hopefully be going to LCS. It is a wonderful place. I had the opportunity of going there 9th-12th grade and it was an amazing experience. I also taught and coached there for two years after college. I couldn’t get enough! I know that you will love it too. Blessings Lauren.