Hi Friends! I just got back from “The Big Apple.” I barely made it out before Sandy blew in. When I say barely, I mean my flight got cancelled; I got the last seat on a different airline and was one of the last flights out before they shut down the airport. Craziness.
It was nice to get out of town and take a break from the reality of cancer. My mom and I went to NYC for an event called RHH Live (www.marieforleo.com). Three hundred women (and two men) came together from all over the world to connect, learn how to start and market our own unique businesses. I signed up for this event several months before we found out Andrew had cancer. He has always encouraged me to follow my dreams. So when it came down to me actually going (once we found out he had cancer) he was insistent that I go.
The best thing I took away from the event was to stop waiting for permission to create a life I love. Over the years, I’ve gotten in the habit of asking for permission before I make any decision. Even when I don’t actually ask out loud, my body language and my tone implies that I am craving approval. Then people tend to mirror back to me what they feel I am projecting which is that I am in need of direction. They then give me advice that fits their preferences. I end up getting angry because I make decisions based on what other people want and not by what I want. I complain about it instead of doing something about it and then the cycle repeats. I once heard a quote that said something to the affect if you don’t create your life someone else will.
For me this can manifest in big ways and in small. For example, what should I do with my life or should I go to the gym. Instead of believing that I am fully capable of figuring out any problem (Marie Forleo says that everything is “figureoutable”) I insecurely think I need someone else’s permission. Are there areas in your life that you allow others to control? Do you get tired of making decisions to please other people when the choices displease you? I’ve been there done that. It took my husband getting cancer for me to realize if not now when am I going to start making decisions that make me happy? Now is the only moment we for sure have. I believe deep down we all know what is best for us it’s just a matter of making a decision and moving forward. Give yourself permission to make decisions that line up with what you truly want in life. Life is short and only you can create the beautiful life that was meant for you! Love and Blessings.
So glad you made it back safely! You are so inspiring, Bailey! I really needed this today and I love that you are constantly helping others by telling your story! You are wonderful!!!! Miss you, love you!
Thank you so much for your encouraging words, Bailey! I’ve definitely been keeping up with both yours and Andrew’s, as well as have shared them with many of my friends. And let me just say what an inspiration they have been to everyone that has heard them! I couldn’t agree more with you on this particular post. Learning to take the reins of my own life and grant myself permission to do the things I feel led to do has certainly been an experience for me this past year. At times, I have felt like a b**** because I had to stand up against people that were putting me down and restricting my growth, but I have learned to ease up on myself and have come to realize that sometimes we have to take a stand for what’s right… Owning our own lives! In the end, it’s the one life we’re most responsible for! On that note, I came across a C.S. Lewis quote earlier today that reflected a lot of that theme…
“What can you ever really know of other people’s souls – of their temptations, their opportunities, their struggles? One soul in the whole creation you do know: and it is the only one whose fate is placed in your hands.”
So thank you again for letting us all into your life to take part (in what little way we can) the experience you currently find yourself. Know that millions of prayers are continually being lifted for you and your family and that we wish you all the best!
Lots of love <3