Finding Your Best Mentor

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Hi There,

 

Me with Christine Hassler at her Dallas book tour where I introduced her!

Me with Christine Hassler at her Dallas book tour where I introduced her!

I’m back from paradise! Read lots of books, spent time with family, and enjoyed some rest and relaxation. I hope you all enjoyed the holidays, too, and were able to spend some quality time with your loved ones. I thrive off of fresh beginnings, so it’s no wonder I’m feeling excited by this New Year. The opportunities to create the life we want are abundant. I’m especially looking forward to a new opportunity that starts tomorrow. In the morning, I will be flying to Los Angeles to start a mentorship with Christine Hassler. Reading her books and being coached by her has had a profound effect on my life. After finding her book, 20 Something 20 Everything, in my early twenties and reading her bio about what she did for a living (life coach, speaker, blogger), I knew that was the life and career I wanted to create for myself. Since that time, I’ve been personally coached by her, attended her seminars, went on one of her retreats to Costa Rica, and am now joining a small group of women who will be mentored by her. This opportunity is a dream come true. Many of the self-help books I’ve read encourage the concept of finding a mentor to help you grow your business, however that’s easier said then done. I wanted to share some tips based on my experience to consider when choosing a career mentor that is right for you!

 

  1. Are they a style match? After being coached by several different coaches I realized that each coach has their own style of coaching. For example, some may work with a personality test, some have a conversational style, some are completely goal oriented, etc.   What I realized was that some styles did not suit me as well as others. Once I realized Christine’s style of coaching was the style of coach I wanted to become, then I knew working with her, as opposed to others, was a right fit for me. Ask yourself the following when deciding if a mentor is right for you:
    • How does this person (mentor) interact with other employees or with their clients?
    • Do you connect with his/her style of working with others?

If so, he/she may be a good fit.

  1. Are they successful in their field? This one is a big one. It may seem obvious that you want to work with someone who is successful, but it’s also important to see yourself in their success. For example: Do they have the kind of success that you want to have in your business? When I envisioned my life, I saw myself doing what Christine has already successfully done- I, too, want to lead retreats all over the world, coach one-on-one, write books, do TV interviews, and speak all over the country. I knew that these were all areas of interest for myself, so the fact she has succeeded in creating a living for herself doing all the things I love to do was a good indication I would glean so much from her expertise.
  2. Do your values line up? I don’t exactly know what all of Christine’s values are, but from reading her blog and working with her our values are aligned enough where I don’t feel out of integrity when I am with her. It’s important to me to feel that I’m spending time with someone who is ethical and shares some of my top values, because no matter what their level of success, I’m not just looking at a successful career— I want a successful life and that comes down to who a person truly is inside.

 

I think one of the best parts about having a mentor is knowing that you have someone to help you when you get stuck. It’s also nice to know that the success you want to create in your life is possible, because you are partnering with someone who is already living the dream you both share. These are just a few of the criteria I used when deciding to invest in and be mentored by Christine. I’m sure that you have other tips on what to look for in a mentor and I would love to read your suggestions in the comments below. Hope you have a great rest of the week and I will catch ya when I get back! Love and Blessings.

El fast asleep with Winston

(Ellie and her best friend ,Winston, passed out after a long hard day of playing! Yes, she is still holding his leash 🙂 )

A little bonus material here! I have to tell you a sweet Ellie story. We have been renting a dog (my furry nephew, Winston) since my brother and his wife have been home for the holidays. Ellie is attached to that dog like white on rice. She holds his hand, “reads” him the Bible, plays with him, grooms him, etc. A few nights ago out of the blue, she told me Winston reminded her of her daddy. In my head, I was kind of laughing because I thought it was a funny statement. Then I asked her why he reminded her of her daddy and she said because he kisses her a lot. (Ellie also told this to my brother and his wife a couple of weeks ago). My heart melted. She told me that playing with Winston was like getting to play with her daddy. It all made sense to me as to why she loves to do everything with him, and now when I look into Winston’s big brown eyes, I can’t help but think of Andrew!

 

5 Responses to “Finding Your Best Mentor”

  2. proudamericanalways

    I love your Ellie stories the best. Her saying Winston reminds her of her daddy is so precious. It melted my heart, but also made me sad. My youngest son went to Cuero High School with Andrew and he has a 4 year old daughter. I can’t imagine losing my son, but I also think of the impact it would have a on my granddaughter. My heart hurts for you and Ellie. It’s amazing how strong you both are. I’m so happy Ellie is finding things that remind her of her daddy. I feel it is important to keep those memories alive and that is what you both are doing. Keep up the good work. I wish you both nothing but the best. God bless.
    Sue Temple

    • Bailey Heard

      Hi Christina! Great question. There are many other great answers to this question out there, but here are some of my thoughts based on personal experience. First, I think it’s important to figure out exactly what you’re looking for in a mentorship (What exactly do you want them to help you do). For example, I had someone reach out to me after hearing my podcast and she really connected with me because she lost a loved one who had written a book and she wanted to help spread her loved one’s legacy. We really connected and now I mentor her. Once you identify what you want and who has the qualities and experience to help you I would reach out to that person via phone or email and start connecting and getting to know them. Say you really connect with this person and ask them to be your mentor. During the process of asking them to mentor you, I’ve found it really helps to come from a place of contribution. Many of the people we want to mentor us have very full lives and their time (all of our time is) very valuable and so they are careful with how they spend it. I say all of that because when you come from a place of contribution they are more likely to share their time with you. For example, the girl that reached out to me was more than willing to purchase copies of my husband’s books, write a testimonial and/or write a blog post sharing my family’s journey. Think about what you can contribute to your mentor to make the relationship mutually beneficial. I’ve found that people are generally willing to help and are flattered when asked to be mentored. I hope this is helpful Christina. If you have any more specific questions please feel free to email me at [email protected] Blessings and thank you so much for reading!