HELP, please!


Hi Friend!

Thank you so much for your support with The Ellie Project. I was blown away by the response on Sunday to The Ellie Project Legacy Book Sale. Ellie and I felt so loved and encouraged reading your heartfelt messages on Facebook.

I wish you could have been a fly on the wall last night. Let me paint you a picture:

Imagine my mom, dad, brother, sister-in-law, Ellie, and two dogs (one little and one big) packed in my tiny living room, which was cluttered with packing tape, cardboard boxes, MORE boxes of The Ellie Project, computers, and a printer. Last night my house became a shipping warehouse. Everyone was working hard doing their assigned task to get The Ellie Project packaged and into your hands. All they asked of me for helping was a couple of pizzas and some wings. Killer deal!

I felt so loved being surrounded by my family as they helped me to share this special book written and illustrated by a man we all loved so dearly. The evening was pretty hilarious. Between Winston, my brother’s sweet and gassy dog, clearing us out of the room, and watching my highly successful, yet non-detailed, parents trying their hardest to pay attention to all the little steps involved in printing labels, packaging boxes, and shipping books, to my sweet, yet hyperactive, brother randomly breaking out into theatrical song and dance (I’m pretty sure he got his incredible facial expressions from watching my daily childhood performances), to my loving sister-in-law literally laughing at our family the entire three hours, there was nowhere else I’d rather have been! Which brings me to my next thought…

Do you ever have a hard time asking for help? I sure as heck do. I will push myself to the point of exhaustion before yelling, “Mercy!” and getting some help. I’m getting a lot better, but it’s humbling to ask for help. There’s the fear of inconveniencing someone, getting rejected, or in my case, feeling like people will think I’m stupid or incapable. The thing is, we never really succeed alone. It seriously would have taken me all week to fulfill book orders if I’d done it by myself on top of coaching clients, booking speaking engagements, and taking care of the day-to-day home, family, and business matters. Talk about burn out! Instead, I’ve decided to shift my mindset around asking for help because the alternative does not support my future goals and dreams. Here are some ways to bring more help into your life:

Sometimes ya gotta fork up the dough – There are some tasks that are worth paying the $10-$15 an hour in order to free up more time to work on your bigger priorities. For this very reason, I am considering hiring a virtual assistant.

Reach out to family and friends – You might be surprised by their response. I shot my brother a text yesterday to ask for his help and the whole fam showed up to assist! It took a while for us to get in our groove, but once we did, the experience was fun and I felt so supported. Believe that your friends and family want to help you succeed and be specific in what you ask them to help you with.

Help yourself by saying NO – Sometimes we just gotta say “no” to some things. We get ourselves in a pickle by saying “yes” to all kinds of things that aren’t exactly in alignment with our most important priorities. Give yourself some time and space to think about the request before giving an immediate “yes.” I get myself in all kinds of crazy when I reply right away. Mostly I end up resentful at myself for committing to something I didn’t really think through. I’ve said “no” to some great opportunities because they weren’t my top priority at the time, and the weight I felt lifted off my shoulders was immense. Give yourself the gift of making space for the things in your life that are in alignment with your top priorities.

As a coach, I’m constantly helping my clients to determine their top priorities so it becomes clear what they want to say “yes” to and what is a definite “no.” Getting clear about what we want in life (not just things, but the type of life we want) is key toward taking the steps that will support forward movement in our lives.

Was there a time in your life where you fearfully asked for help and it turned out to be the best decision? Do tell!

Asking for help has been a huge stretch for me, but it’s also created an incredible community around me I might not have had otherwise. Relationships are one of my top values and I never would have guessed by asking for help I would gain deeper friendships and community. Thank you for being a part of that community in my life! Sending you lots of love! Blessings.