I missed you, and I hope you had a wonderful summer!
This summer, I decided to unplug from writing and other projects to take some much needed time to lay a foundation for my future.
After my husband, Andrew, passed away back in 2013, leaving behind me, a 28-year-old mom, and our precious 2½-year-old daughter, I hit the ground running. Andrew wrote several books in his final months, and immediately after he passed away, I felt a calling to share our story and his writings. So I began traveling all over the country, heeding this call.
I eventually co-wrote and published a book Andrew wrote and illustrated for our daughter called The Ellie Project. I had no expectations of what would come from all this activity. I just knew it was what I was supposed to be doing at that point in my life.
It’s been six years now, and I could never have imagined the people I’d meet, the places I’d go, the impact of his writings and our story on others, and the healing this work has brought to me.
It’s been such a beautiful whirlwind, and this summer I felt a nudging to put some of these projects on hold in order to create space and explore what I wanted for my life moving forward. I realized that by trying to stay in the present moment I never really thought about my future.
Well, the future was getting closer every day and I was watching life pass me by, not stopping to think about what I wanted out of it. That’s when it hit me: I don’t think I know myself that well.
I’ve always felt extremely in tune with other people’s needs, but not so much with my own. Most of my life, I did what I thought others wanted and avoided conflict, often at the expense of my own needs and dreams.
Time passes so quickly, and sometimes we can wake up from an autopilot-like state and realize we’re living someone else’s version of our life. I didn’t want to live that way anymore.
I realized I needed to step up and move through my fear of disappointing others and not living up to their expectations of my life. I knew for Ellie and me, I needed to start owning my own decisions, to create an experience of my design.
In the weeks to come, I want to share my transformational journey of letting go of other’s expectations of me, how I am discovering more of who I am and what I want, and how I’m finally overcoming the roadblocks that have kept me from taking massive action.
I want to pass along the resources that have supported me through this season in hopes that they will build you up through your journey.
Thank you so much for spending time with me today! I’m looking forward to connecting with you next week. With gratitude!