I don’t know about you, but I’m already in complete holiday overload mode. My To-Do list feels endless and it just so happens that when it rains, it pours. The past couple of months have felt like everything is happening all at once, from an influx in speaking opportunities, to new relationships, to the ever-increasing holiday To-Do lists. Have you ever noticed sometimes how the more items are added to your To-Do list, the more likely procrastination can creep in, leaving you feeling frozen in overwhelm? I’m so grateful my speaking schedule has continued to pick up (in fact, I’m at the airport headed to speak in Wisconsin), and yet some days I feel like I’m barely keeping my head above water.
It was this feeling of overwhelm that came through this past weekend as I was talking to my friend, Patrick, who is also an entrepreneur, and he noticed. He sent me a video from Daren Hardy on what to do in moments like these. Check out this short video on time management: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mdm2JlVoZy8
My friend suggested I apply what this video says to do to my own life, and instead of doing more, I would be able to do less by saying “no” more. As a recovering people-pleaser, this hurdle continually shows up for me. I’m constantly given more opportunities to grow in this area of my life. I’ve noticed, time and again, I find myself saying “yes” to things that are not in alignment with my priorities. I’ve always feared that by saying “no” to someone, that person would think less of me. Patrick challenged me to question my limiting beliefs around saying “no” and to consider this mindset, “If someone gets upset that you say ‘no,’ that says more about them then it does about you. It’s actually a good way to find out who truly cares about you, because the ones who do will respect your decision.” Honestly, I’d never thought about it that way.
Over the past three years since losing my husband, Andrew, to cancer, I value my time in a whole new way. I know, on a deeper level, my time is limited and so it does matter how I spend it. I’ve also learned through that experience what my values are and where my priorities lie. When I focus on what I’ve learned, it makes saying “no” to the things that don’t line up a lot easier. Although I’ll always want to be liked and understood, being liked is no longer the most important thing to me. When someone doesn’t understand why I say “no,” then that’s OK. I don’t have to carry the burden of their emotions any longer, as that’s not my responsibility. My responsibility is to honor God, myself, and my family by putting the first things first.
My mom always told me when you say “yes” to to one thing, you’re saying “no” to something else. Therefore, it’s important to be clear on which things we’re saying “no” to when we do say “yes.” It’s all a process and, for me, it can be challenging to do the opposite of what I’ve always done and am used to doing. This hurdle, however, has become essential to my growth in taking my life and my business to new heights.
So, my friend, what do you need to take off of your plate this holiday season and say NO to so you can say YES to that which is most important to you?
Baby steps make up the ultimate shift. We’ve got this! As always, thank you for spending your valuable time with me today. Have a wonderful rest of the week! Love and Blessings.
PS – Great news! I recently sold out of The Ellie Project books and a new shipment came in yesterday! If you’re looking for a meaningful gift to share with those you love this Christmas, please check out my late husband, Andrew’s, book, The Ellie Project! This book is truly for all ages. His drawings are simple and children love them, but his words are powerful and wise enough to carry us all through this life, no matter what our age. Get your signed copy at www.ellieproject.com.
PPS – Want to motivate, inspire, and encourage a group, company, or church you are a part of? My message is about “transforming life’s greatest challenges into a purposeful life” and I’d love to come share it! Email me today at email@example.com to book me as your speaker.
Your mom was right and in finance it is called the “opportunity cost of capital”.
I also learned to say “no” without giving a reason. Just thank them for asking.
Keep up the god work.
Love you and Ellie
Love your thoughts on this Carolyn! Thank you for sharing and for reading! Love you dearly!