Ever said this to yourself, “I’m afraid to make this commitment because I’m worried I’ll feel trapped, I won’t like it, I’ll be unhappy, and I’ll be wasting my time”?
I’ll be the first to admit I’ve spent a lot of time camping out in this belief system. Specifically for me this comes up in regards to my next career move and these are the circular thoughts keeping me from taking forward action in my life. I have real fears and concerns, but the stories I’ve created in my mind around those fears are not real. These stories actually hold me back from making a decision and ultimately leave me stuck in indecision. The truth is, I’ll never know if I like it or not until I try it.
Have you ever noticed certain patterns in your life? This is one of mine. I’ll feel excited and ready to take a leap of faith, and then when things start getting serious and when the offers come or the opportunities to make a commitment come along, I freeze, over-analyze, and pretty quickly talk myself out of it. I do this in the name of protecting myself from what I think might be an unfulfilling life, but the truth is it’s my limiting beliefs that are keeping me from pulling the trigger.
Recently I noticed this pattern in myself and how it was holding me back. I knew I needed to make a change. I brought this up with my therapist and she gave me some great advice. She told me the average person changes careers seven times in their lifetime. She suggested it’s better to go ahead and make the commitment to the new job in order to get experience and contacts. She encouraged me to remember it doesn’t have to be a forever commitment, and if I get into it and realize it’s not a good fit I can make plans to transition. The important part is I keep moving and trying things until I figure out the best fit. She reminded me that what I, specifically, need right now is some structure and financial stability.
Because of what I’ve seen in life and the experiences I’ve had, some of my biggest fears are wasting my life doing something that makes me unhappy, not having time for the things that are most important to me, like my family, and not reaching my God-given full potential. As a result, I often make decisions based on these fears. Recently, however, I had an epiphany: What if I’m looking at this all wrong? What if the belief systems I was using to protect me are actually holding me back from living a more fulfilling life?
So I’m challenging myself to shift my paradigm by changing the stories around my beliefs and taking a different approach. The approach of trying things before creating a story about them. If there’s anything I’ve learned from building a coaching and speaking business it’s that we learn by doing the things that scare us. And maybe “failing” isn’t actually a waste of time, maybe it’s moving us forward to exactly where we’re meant to be. Maybe the lessons are forming us into the person we’re meant to become. Food for thought.
Thank you so much for taking the time to follow our journey! It means so much to us. Grateful for YOU! Blessings.
PS Need an extra dose of Courage? Check out my TEDx talk: https://youtu.be/f2icabWsRgk
PPS – Back in 2015 when I published The Ellie Project, a book Andrew wrote and illustrated during the the final months of his life for our then two-year-old daughter, Ellie, I had no idea the impact it would have on families all over the country. It’s sold over 6,000 plus copies, and continues to leave a lasting impression on the hearts of those who read it. Get your signed copy here.